98% of my life is ????? with a little ¿¿¿¿¿
I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember that one time i had to fly with my cello so we bought it a seat
and it got upgraded to first class
This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled.